Going Dutch

Thoughts pass by lightning speed
All memories realised and remembered
Mistakes rewritten into perfect little scenes
Do my choices mean that the ending must be of my demands
Or can I even change my future

She looks at me with beautiful blue eyes
They must be fake, I reason
Like how I wear my tie in such a fashion
Like how we sit with our backs straightened
And minds sharpened

“So, what do you think of me?”
The question still rings in my head
It has been milliseconds since she asked
I need to give an answer soon or I’m too slow
Too slow in this game

“Well, you see…”
I am stalling for time, I need to make my move
I should compliment her features, something soon
I open my mouth again and speak-

“You were lovely today.”
I close my mouth, hers were not
“I never knew someone could be so open,”
“So trusting and yet so mysterious!”
“I really want to meet you again.”

Her smile is gorgeous
Her voice is a radio in the deserted island
The bill arrives to the table
Her eyes looked down into her open purse
Petite hands searching for something

I on the other hand, search for a counterattack
Finding none but true compliments
I console myself in thinking that she is but a facade
And yet I fail to even convince myself of that
She looks amazing with those glasses

Once A Time

There was once a time
When you were all I thought about
All I dreamt about
I thought about the things we could do

There was once a time
When I could only wake up to the sound of your voice
The scent of your body
I held you closer every time

There was once a time
When the birds would call out your name
Your name that I screamed in bed
I would call you just to see you smile

There was once a time
When you would say ‘I love you’
‘Because forever would be too short a time to spend with you’
And I could only nod so furiously while pressing against your chest

There was once a time
When all of this would happen
And yet I see you leaving with your baggages
There will not be another time

You Would

I would wait for you at the steps
You would come in your bright yellow car
I would call out and laugh at you
As you arrived wearing goggles

I would sit in your car
You would play your favourite songs
I would sing my heart out and you would chuckle
As you drove us down to the restaurant

I would take your soft, strong hand
You would lead me out of your car
I would skip a little beside you and you would yell
As you told me not to do that in heels

We would sit at the table
They would serve us dinner and dessert
We would laugh the whole night and they would stare
As we shared jokes about jellies and horses

I would stand outside my house
You would carefully close the car doors
I would watch you walk closer and you would smile
As you pulled me in closer

I would sit at the window
You would sit in the driveway waving back
I would wildly wave and you would grin
As the day ended with you

I would lie in bed
You would be in yours
I would try to keep you up and you would whisper
As midnight approached

But now

I will be a black dress
You will be in a white suit
I will try to keep my tears in and you will pass me by
As the coffin lowers into the ground

 

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Yes this is my first time writing in a female perspective and I’m pretty sure a number of you would have violent objections to the words I used. Go ahead and comment them all!

 

Or maybe no one will read this.