Did It Matter

Did it matter to you
That my goals disappeared
That what I made went up in flames?

Did it matter to you
That my best friend leapt off
That the sole witness was me?

Did it matter to you
That I suffered from nightmares
That they didn’t stop after waking up?

Did it matter to you
That I could only read certain words
That sentences were once in a blue moon?

Cause look at you now
Begging on your knees
Calling yourself my BFF
That you’ve loved me all along
Reaching out to barely grasp
At the riches that I have amassed
Only a dollar, only a thousand
What are friends for, eh?

Stay away all you fair weather friends
Cause apparently I did not matter then.

You Would

I would wait for you at the steps
You would come in your bright yellow car
I would call out and laugh at you
As you arrived wearing goggles

I would sit in your car
You would play your favourite songs
I would sing my heart out and you would chuckle
As you drove us down to the restaurant

I would take your soft, strong hand
You would lead me out of your car
I would skip a little beside you and you would yell
As you told me not to do that in heels

We would sit at the table
They would serve us dinner and dessert
We would laugh the whole night and they would stare
As we shared jokes about jellies and horses

I would stand outside my house
You would carefully close the car doors
I would watch you walk closer and you would smile
As you pulled me in closer

I would sit at the window
You would sit in the driveway waving back
I would wildly wave and you would grin
As the day ended with you

I would lie in bed
You would be in yours
I would try to keep you up and you would whisper
As midnight approached

But now

I will be a black dress
You will be in a white suit
I will try to keep my tears in and you will pass me by
As the coffin lowers into the ground

 

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Yes this is my first time writing in a female perspective and I’m pretty sure a number of you would have violent objections to the words I used. Go ahead and comment them all!

 

Or maybe no one will read this.

Betrayal

To be betrayed by your friends
When they tell you they will be there
But they aren’t
Because you’re insignificant

To be betrayed by your family
When they tell you they always love you
But they stab you in the back
Because you’re different

To be betrayed by the one person that you love
When that person says they will stay with you forever
But they leave you for someone else
Because someone else was there

To be betrayed by yourself
When you tell yourself everything will be okay
But everything is not okay
Because you end it all prematurely with a jump

I hate all of this.