Not A Second More

The stars never told me of your existence
Nor did they ever told you of mine
I would struggle to know my identity
But you knew yours all along

We woke at the same time that morning
You had to head down early to work
I opened my eyes to the light in my eyes
I didn’t sleep well at all

My afternoon was filled with voices
“You’re useless, why aren’t you working?”
“You should never call yourself as my son anymore.”
I could only curl up and cry

Your boss had you come up to his office
A promotion was on its way
Colleagues all had roses ready
It was a huge celebration

The door slammed behind me
The voices wouldn’t follow me out
The lift ride down was filled with thoughts
“Should I never live another day?”

The road was quiet for a rainy evening
Filled with water, indistinguishable from my tears
The cars took no heed of me
The traffic lights never turned red

Yet you stopped
In your white car
Parked right beside
Me of my past

“Are you okay?”
“Do you need help?”
“Get inside my car, it’ll shelter you for a while.”
Your soft voice cut through the rain

And your screams did too
As the grim reaper drove his truck
Right past the crimson light
Right into you

I’ve woken from my nightmare
It has been three years since
I guess all I needed was that one minute with you
Not a second more


Do you remember?
The very first day when I talked to you
It was sunny
And I was crying inside a room
You asked me what was wrong
Even though I didn’t say a thing
You knew

Do you remember?
The very first time I told you I loved kites
It was windy
And I was standing on the top of a grass field
You told me to pursue what I liked
Even though I laughed it off
You knew

Do you remember?
The very first time I broke down in tears
It was raining
And I was on my bed hoping this was all a nightmare
You told me that he was in a better place
Even though I forgot to reply to you
You knew

You knew
When I was afraid of the future
You knew
When I was excited about discovering myself
You knew
When I told you that I liked you
You knew all these small things about me
That I would never say to anyone else

But now all I hear in my mind
Is that I will lose you to someone
Someone better
Someone worse
The world would stop turning so I won’t find you
I’m scared and afraid and you aren’t talking anymore
I miss you even more

And all that I can think about is the past
And all that I can dream about is the past
I’m so tired
Of my own memories